As The Sun
by jadedfox2
Summary: gil can't stop thinking about what oz said about alice in cheshire's lair. oz notices something is wronmg and confronts him about it. OOC, mushy, ect.


" _To me, Alice is as important as the sun." _

Those words hurt. Those words hurt in a way that was cold and empty. In a way that left you hollow, save for the emotion that was impossible to name, but was crushing and was beyond the point of putting you to tears.

I understand them, but still I can't help but feel jealous. After all, she is as my master said. She is totally shameless in the way she feels. She will shout from the highest mountain what a bitch it was to get there. Maybe that's why it seems like I hate her, not that that is the case. She can do what I can't. She can be totally honest with herself.

Even if I am afraid that she'll replace me, who am I to deny my Master's happiness? I couldn't do that. Never.

Even as I see them walking in front of me, it's like I'm slowly drifting farther and farther behind them.

In the carriage, on the way back to the mansion from shopping for Alice's meat, I don't say anything. Lost in my thoughts, not that either of them take notice, I think, maybe it will be better this way. As long as the Master is happy in the end, I'll suffer all the pain.

When the carriage stops in front of the mansion, I step out, taking the meat to the kitchen, not saying a word to either of them. After I drop it off, I decide it's more then time for a cigarette so I head towards the back door. The large rose garden would be nice. Maybe the roses will take my mind off things.

I see my beautiful Master with the stupid rabbit. He has a smile on his face, just like always, blonde hair blowing about slightly in the wind. I smile in spite of my self as I turn my view from them and head towards the garden.

All I think is how I would hate to be the one who wiped that smile from his face.

I almost feel a tear fall, but I refuse to let it. What a dirty way of crying. I can't let it happen. Not this time. I find a bench that is under an arch and surrounded with dark red roses. A lovely color to complement my Master's eyes.

So much for the roses taking my mind off things.

I bring a cigarette to my mouth and light it, only for it to fall to the ground in my surprise.

"Gil." I know he didn't mean to scare me. His voice was calm and quiet. Which, actually, now that I think about it is rather odd for Oz.

I pick up my cigarette and take a drag.

"Hey, Oz." My voice came out a lot quieter than I had meant it to. He took a seat next to me. Picking a rose and stroking the petals.

"What's wrong with you lately?" He sounded concerned. It made sense. I was still his best friend after all.

"N-nothing." I stuttered, like always.

He chuckled. "Don't lie to me, Gil. You're horrible at lying." He looked at me, though I dare not look at him.

"Really. It's nothing you should worry about." I mentally scolded myself for sounding so pained. Seriously, at this rate I was just going to blurt out the fact that I loved him.

"Gil." he whispered for a second before continuing in a normal voice, "Is this about what happened in Cheshire's demention?"

I laughed quietly, once again in spite myself, knowing he wasn't thinking about what I was.

"You could say that."

I didn't want him to know, but a part of me desperately needed him to know how I felt.

He looked down at his feet, sighing.

"It's ok. Really. Everyone is ok, I'm ok. You don't need to dwell on it." I felt dejavu like crazy.

"It isn't that, but..." I stopped myself unsure of what I was really going to say. "It's nothing."

I felt him wrap his arms around my neck.

"Gil, please don't cry." he whispered in my ear.

When did I start crying? I dropped my cigarette and hugged him back. The tears kept coming, although there wasn't much I could do to stop them. I rested my head on his shoulder.

"as long as you're happy." I whispered to myself, not really wanted him to hear.

"What?" I looked at him surprised.

"What do you mean, "As long as I'm happy."?" He looked at me puzzled.

More tears fell. There was no way I could keep it from him now. Maybe that's what I wanted all along.

"She can me your sun." I answered. I quickly ran from him then, barely seeing his eyes widen. Maybe there was still a way. Maybe he didn't have to know.

I rounded a corner, down a path, a left then a right, still I could hear his voice right behind me.

"Gil! Wait!" I rounded one more corner, finally stopping to catch my breath. Of course, he didn't stop running in time and knocked me down.

I could feel him on top of me, making me blush. What made it worse is that when I opened my eyes, he was only inches away from my face. I could feel his warm breath against my lips. He was making this a lot harder for me than it needed to be.

"O-oz." I groaned. That had seriously hurt. My head was throbbing, although I'm not sure if that was from crying or hitting my head. Hell, it was probably both.

"Gil. Don't run from me like that. You had no idea what I was going to say!" He poked my cheek playfully.

Before I could even give him a response, I felt warm lips cover mine. I was shocked. I could feel my eyes go wide, my face heat up more than it already did, and I gasped. Oz being Oz took advantage of this and slipped his tongue into my mouth. That's when my mind went blank, and I gave in. My hands found their way to his soft, golden locks and I heard him moan when I bit his lip gently.

Before I wanted him to, he pulled away. "Gil, Alice is like the sun to me, but you are my whole world and everything in it." he let his head lower to my shoulder, where I felt something warm fall onto my neck.

"Please don't forget that." He whispered in my ear.

I embraced him tightly, never wanting to let him go.

It was my turn to whisper.

"I love you, Oz."

he looked at me with tears in his eyes, a big, goofy, but genuine smile on his face.

Our lips met once again, moving in sweet harmony.

**A/N: ok, well, there you have it folks. Some suuuuper mushy ozXgil. Sweet, isn't it? The top line and the ost "Cradle" were my inspiration for this. It probably isn't all that good. I'm still in a sickly haze, but I feel so inspired right now, and I don't really know why. Anyway, I hope it doesn't suck to bad, and I realize they are probably waaaaaaay OOC, but you know, I don't really care right now :)**


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